


Purple Comet

by JogreMyOgre



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fanart, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24702454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JogreMyOgre/pseuds/JogreMyOgre
Summary: The famous Purple Comet Burter and Jeice compete in the galaxy's biggest bro-back riding race. The fate of their sponsorship with Cold Corp is on the line as nasty hairy monkey men and overweight slug people jeopardize their victory. Feet and hands blaze across the planet in a heart pounding piggyback thrill the whole family can bounce to.
Relationships: Broly/Paragus, Burter/Jeice (Dragon Ball), Nail/Guru, Nappa/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Kudos: 1





	Purple Comet

(A/N: WARNING! While this fiction does not directly contain much foul language or provocative actions, much of the verbage can create disturbing imagery that may unsettle readers. Proceed at your own risk)

Feet and hands pound the ground at a rate faster than the eye can perceive. Clouds of dirt trail behind the racers as they round the next corner. Sweat spews from jacked bodies. Onlookers try to catch a glimpse, but everything is just a blur to their eyes.

Now passing their way into third place is the dynamic duo known to fans as the Purple Comet. On bottom is the bigger bluer man Burter. His arms and legs move so fast that they become streaks. Sitting mounted on his back is his faithful companion Jeice, the steaming red devil of the racing world.

They fixate on the racer coming in at number two, a Saiyan pair consisting of the brutish bald mad dog Nappa and the savory shirtless prince Vegeta. The purple comet pulls up beside the Saiyans to taunt them.

"Your boy looks a little tired!" Jiece mocks the pair and sticks out his tongue.

Vegeta curses under his breath and slaps Nappa's behind. "Faster Nappa!" He shouts.

"I'm going as fast as I can!" Nappa complains. The steak dangling in front of his face does little to coax him further.

"You're going to lose this race" Jeice returns to his banter with a smile. "You know why? Because there's no bond between the two of you!"

Jeice grips the handle bars attached to his partners back and gives the rods a good working. Burter explodes further, leaving the Saiyans in the dust.

"Damn them! I'll kill you if you lose this Nappa!" Vegeta pounds away at the brute's bottom until it turns red.

Out away from the exotic raceway a tall purple man with horns laughs at the spectacle overserved on a monitor. "My boys have this one in the bag." The proud manager proclaims.

"Ginyu! I'm glad to have found you in this dreadful crowd." A tiny horned man with a tail makes his way over to the man's side in his hover chair.

"My, Mr. Frieza. What a pleasure to see you." Ginyu chuckles to himself.

"The pleasure is all mine my dear friend. I just came here to remind you of our sponsorship deal. I expect you to hold your end of the bargain." Freiza turns his attention to the race track.

Ginyu gulps before returning to his charmed demeanor with a nervous laugh. "Don't you worry about a thing. My team is certain to win this."

"Hmm. Be sure that they do."

Back on the track Burter zips by another crowd of fans. As they do Jeice gives them a little dance with his pecks. He finishes by pouring a water bottle over his exposed upper body.

"Hey save some of that for me Jeice!" the boy on bottom calls out to his bro.

"Sure thing brother!" He pours the remainder of the water over Burter's beautiful face. He neighs with pleasure as the droplets bounce over his skin.

Jeice's attention is pulled back into the race as the rider in position one comes into sight. Another pair of Saiyans. This time a father riding his son's bare back.

"Don't slow down now Broly! I'll use this! You know I will!" The man cries out from between his son's legs, waving an electric shock collar remote. His son wails like an animal in response.

Burter and Jeice burst up from behind to take daddy by surprise. As they near his rear Jeice primes his arm. The moment they make it within range he gives the Saiyan a good slap. Broly neighs in confusion and slams his body against the barricade, grinding along its edge until going right through and out of the race.

"Dammit boy!" the father struggles to regain control of his seemingly uneducated son. Jeice and Burter laugh as they pass them by.

"Nice one Jeice!" says Burter.

"All's fair in this passionate dance." The purple pair rejoice.

Just as the two start to settle into their lead, Jeice notices a racer fast approaching in the mirror attached to Burter's shoulder. "We got a bogey!" Jeice calls out to his passionate companion. A massive thunderous entity bulldozes it's way from fifth to second place.

"What the juice is that!" Burter cries out, taking notice of the beastly green monstrosity behind him.

"Careful Guru! We're just trying to win the race! You don't need to get reckless!" The shirtless green Namekian calls out to his massive overweight companion.

"Nail, Do not worry yourself. Though my body screams with a passion not felt in years, my mind remains calm like a windless lake." The gigantic naked Namekian reassures his companion.

"Right, forgive me wise Guru. Look now, there remains only a single obstacle between us and victory!" The man utop points his outstretched elastic arm toward the dynamic purple duo.

Guru bellows a mighty bellow, and Nail howls a mighty howl. The silky slimy sweaty slugmen burst forward. Every impact they make with the ground leaves potholes in its place. It isn't long before they're neck and neck with our heroes.

"Step on it Burter!" Jeice desperately pleas to his swole blood brother.

"Heh!" the Namekian gloats to the pair. "Sorry about this, but we really need that money!" Guru launches his massive sickly tongue from his mouth. It swings and spirals before lashing Burter's big red eyes.

"Yeow!" The blue bullet clenches his bosom as well as his eyes. The Green grotesquerie pulls ahead like a mad bullfrog.

"Burter!" Jeice beccons his buddy with woeful worry. "Stay with me brother! We can still show that freak what the purple comet can do!"

Watching from a monitor, Their manager Ginyu cracks the glass in his hand.

"Having concerns, Ginyu?" Mr. Frieza; Chairman of the Cold Corp, disappointedly shoots his eyes at the uncomfortable purple giant.

"Not at all Mr. Frieza! My boys are just adding some drama to the show. This is entertainment after all!" Ginyu feins confidence. 'I really hope those boys know what they're doing!'

The distance grows between Guru and Burter.

"I'm sorry about this buddy, but I'm going to have to do it." Jeice warns his tiring companion.

"You're not going to… no please! Don't even think about it!" It's too late. Jeice's fingertips have already slid into the blue boy's armpits.

"This hurts me just as much as it hurts you!" He begins to pitter patter rapidly on the blushing blueberry's underarms.

"I can't take it!" He cries tears that defy the laughter coming out of his muzzle. "You know I can't stand being tickled!" Adrenaline courses through his body, pulsing him onward like a loosed arrow.

Nail notices the figure approaching in Guru's mirror too late. Within seconds Burter's big round phallic head batters the giant slug's back tract. Nail is sent bouncing on his boy's backside while Guru moans with pain and pleasure before flopping onto his big round belly. "Damn you!" Are the last words that Jeice manages to hear from Nail before he is swiftly lost from sight.

"We're home free!" Jeice calls out. The finish line emerges from his horizon.

"I knew we could do it bro!"

Before they can celebrate the sounds of woes echo throughout the crowd. An aggressive pained howl meets the pair's ears.

Approaching fast behind them, Nappa's tortured screaming body thrusts on. His rider Vegeta stands upright and backwards, his feet planted on each butt cheek. Veins bulge on his body as he tugs the tail of his subservient partner with all his might. Nappa's mouth hangs wide as a door while agony pours from his orifice.

The Saiyans catch up within an instant.

"I'll make sure you never race again!" Vegeta screams to the red and blue riders of passion. He swiftly pulls Nappa's tail to the left, causing the pained Saiyan to change his course into an intercept. With a thunderous impact, his shoulder bashes Burter's moist ribs.

Burter smashes against the nearby barricade, but rebounds quickly. "We haven't gotten this far being amateurs! The two of us know a thing or two about bare back bro racing, and your sorry excuse for a partnership will get you nowhere!" Jeice's words are met with a swift high-five from his blue amigo.

"Hey! We'll see about that! Nappa, break his arm!" Nappa obediently swings a mighty chop that crashes into Burter's front left appendage. A crack emits from the big blue boy's arm that sends a freezing chill down Jeice's spine. In the next moment the pair tumble into the ground in a horrific crash.

Fans cry out in horror as the Saiyan prince nears the finish line. The dust begins to settle.

"Burter!" He calls out in fear.

A cough comes through the cloud of dirt. Jeice rushes to his partner's side.

"Oh Burter! It can't be true! No, my buddy can't be stopped like this!"

A shiver runs through Ginyu's body as he watches the tragedy unfold. Memories flash in his mind of his own tragic final race. The sight of a broken Recoome fills his imagination as the memory overlaps the image on the monitor. His heart aches as he recalls the horrible aftermath, having to pull the trigger on the wounded animal to end it's misery.

"How bitter an end. Disappointing. I'm sure you know what this means for you Ginyu." Frieza disinterestedly dismisses the downed riders.

Vegeta maniacally laughs his head off as he approaches victory. Less than a kilometer stands between him and his trophy.

Then the sound of crashing meets his ears. He looks for the source. Entire bleachers are sent flying into the air from just outside the track. Then suddenly the baracide itself bursts open to the mighty idiot's rampage. Bounding across the track is a mindless Broly and his completely overwhelmed father, having failed to gain any control over his simpleton offspring. Vegeta has no time to respond. With a powerful thud the four Saiyans collide. Broly's momentum is unchanged and he continues charging onward until he smashes through the opposite barricade and out of the race once more. Vegeta and Nappa lay on the ground dazed.

Jeice softly rubs the chest of his companion. Burter's head lay resting on his leg.

"It's okay Burter, just rest for now." His eyes water.

"No! It's just one arm! I can still do this!" Burter protests.

"It's over bro! We're through!" The tears now seap over his tomato red skin.

Burter rolls back into his racing position. Jeice's eyes widen at the sight of his blue boy's defiance. He stands upright with pride.

"You're right. We can still do this. Together!" Jeice leaps over Burter to get to the broken arm. He jumps upside down and locks his legs around the big blue shoulder.

"What are you doing Bro? Get on my back!"

"Burter…" The two lock eyes. After a moment Burter nods in understanding. Tears of joy emerge from his big red eyes.

Jeice places one hand on Burter's wrist, and the other firmly on the ground to form a human crutch. The two merge seamlessly. Burter begins to charge forward, Jeice's steaming abs functioning as the hinge of his elbow.

Ahead of them Vegeta has finally gotten Nappa back up. He looks on in shock at the fast approaching duo. "Hurry up Nappa!" He leaps upon his back and slaps the larger Saiyan's rear. The Saiyans resume the race.

"We might not make it!" Burter calls out.

"We will! Let's show these people why they call us the Purple Comet!"

"Heh! Right you are brother!" Burter's speed increases. "Because!"

"Because!"

In unison they shout "We're the fastest beings in the universe!"

The two riders become one. The onlookers see only a purple streak zoom by. Vegeta doubles down on abusing his mount. Before he knows it the duo bounds over his head.

Vegeta is not to be beaten yet. He tugs on Nappa's mustache, sending him into a chomping frenzy.

The gleaming pair of unified meat dodge each bite from Nappa's mouth with ease. They create a wave of color as they maneuver. They prepare their finale, spiraling through the air. No longer are they racers, they are now a ray of swirling energy and bodily fluids. The raceway is illuminated in a flash of blinding purple light as they explode through the finish line.

With the greatest finish in bare back racing history, the Purple Comet became beings once more. A defeated and enraged Saiyan prince eats their dust, only meters behind. A tear falls down the cheek of their proud manager. A curiously content Frieza accepts the win.

"Bravo Ginyu, you raised some fine racers." Frieza swiftly departs.

Ginyu continues to watch the monitor as the duo rejoice. A single clap escapes his hands.


End file.
